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Thoughts, tips, and tales to help you navigate the global community.
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To offend or impress— ‘tis a fine line!
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 Fashionably Late or Way Too Early? |
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Last week I was invited to a dinner party being hosted by some Brazilian friends. The party was called for 7:00 PM. Running late, I anxiously rushed over. Arriving almost half an hour late I’m surprised when the host answers the door in her bathrobe. The other guests don’t start arriving until almost 9:00. I sat on the couch for an hour feeling slightly embarrassed, a little annoyed, and extremely hungry. Luckily there was a pitcher of caipirinhas on the table to help me pass the time and drown my sorrows.
When you have a social gathering, business meeting or other function to attend, what time do you arrive? On-the-dot? Five minutes early? Ten minutes late? 30 minutes? How late is too late? How early is too early?
The answers to these questions can be vastly different, depending on the country/culture in which you live or were raised. Generally speaking, there are two ways that time is viewed. On one end of the spectrum, people see time as limited; something precious that must be used carefully and efficiently. Deadlines, plans, and schedules are almost always met and kept, and dealing with personal needs are less important than being on time. This is the “time zone” that I inhabit—an unfortunate fate for someone who is perpetually (and apologetically) running late.
At the other end of the spectrum, time is perceived as having no constraints. It’s totally flexible. There is always more of it—there’s always tomorrow. Deadlines, plans, and schedules are expected to change as personal needs arise. Punctuality is not expected. Although this kind of relaxed view of time appeals to me, the Brazilian party revealed my expectations and limits.
Although many people fall somewhere in between, every country/culture tends toward one end of the spectrum or the other. Showing up 2-3 hours after the party is called is not uncommon in countries like Brazil, Colombia, or Spain. Showing up on time or even a bit early is more common in Japan, Germany, or Switzerland. So, the next you set a time to meet someone, you may want to find out how their “clock” runs. And if you are invited to a Brazilian dinner party, you might want to pack a snack.
For more information on the view of time in specific countries, check out our community built country guides. You can also share information and observations from your own culture crossing experiences by logging in and adding to the guide!
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Category : Time| Posted By: michael |  Comments [0]
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| Drink |
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I’m not a big drinker. One glass of wine or beer is all it takes for me to feel quenched and buzzed. One more drink and I’m liable to knock my glass over and ruin the tablecloth or send a flood of red wine into the lap of the person sitting next to me. By the third glass I’m either sprawled on the couch or tottering towards the bathroom where I am likely to remain until the world stops spinning. Needless to say I usually limit my alcohol intake, especially at dinner parties or other public functions. In the U.S.most people don’t seem to care, but during a recent trip to China I had the distinct impression that my moderate drinking habits were offending my host.
Shortly after arriving at a dinner banquet hosted by a group of local Chinese officials and educators, we lifted our glasses for the first of more than a dozen toasts. It was a small glass but it was perpetually filled with baijo, a potent rice wine (112 proof!). The person sitting next to me told me that I was expected to down my drink with each toast—and I could tell that my hosts were scanning the room to make sure everyone was fully enjoying their spirits. Of course I didn’t want to offend my hosts, but I was afraid that they would be more offended by my behavior if I actually drank as much as they did.
I considered my options. Should I feign illness and excuse myself? Should I hold the liquor in my mouth and spit it out into my teacup when no one was looking? Should I dump it into my shoe? I finally decided to just own up to it and explained to my gracious host that I’m just too sensitive to alcohol to drink so much—but that I was deeply grateful for the offering. My hosts laughed, nodded in understanding, and let me off the hook , freeing me up to enjoy the meal without having to worry about falling off my chair, wobbling my way to a distant bathroom, or worse.
So if you ever find yourself in places like Japan , China, or Russia, where you might sense some pressure to imbibe like the locals do—learn from my lesson. Save yourself loads of anxiety and potential embarrassment, and just ‘fess up to being a non-drinker from the start. Once the toasts are underway, it may be more stressful to weasel your way out of it. You can also choose to stick to wine or beer (explaining that you don’t do the hard stuff), and then take sips with each passing toast. No matter where your travels may take you, drinking in moderation often has many perks— including the ability to more clearly remember the details of your international experience.
For more information on the view of socializing in specific countries, check out our community built country guides. You can also share information and observations from your own culture crossing experiences by logging in and adding to the guide! |
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Category : General| Posted By: michael | Comments [0]
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| It's All In The Eyes |
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Growing up in the US, my father always told me to look people directly in the eyes when talking to them. He instructed me to maintain eye contact during introductions and any conversations that followed. Halfway around the world in Japan, my friend Masahiro’s dad was telling him to do the opposite; always look away when meeting people who were more senior. He learned that avoiding direct eye contact was a sign of respect.
When interacting with people from different cultures, knowing whether to look or look away can be critical. People from cultures who value indirect eye contact often view full eye contact as a sign that a person is aggressive, untrustworthy, and/or engaged in suspicious activities. Conversely, those from cultures where direct eye contact is the norm, averting your eyes can suggest dishonesty, unreliability, and being disrespectful.
So whether you are conducting business in South Korea where the tendency is towards indirect eye contact or checking into a hotel in Colombia where the bell hop will look you right in the eyes, knowing when to look and when to look away could save you a lot of needless stress.
For more information on spatial relations in specific countries, check out our community built country guides. You can also share information and observations from your own culture crossing experiences by logging in and adding to the guide! |
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Category : Eye Contact| Posted By: michael | Comments [0]
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| The Art of Bargaining |
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Bargaining is an everyday part of life in many places around the world. It is a game, a drama, a dance in which both the buyer and seller play a role. The roles can be subtle and figuring out the rules of the game can help you feel like a local when navigating negotiations.
When I arrived in Morocco, it was frustrating and exhausting to discuss and haggle over everyday purchases. I found myself dreaming of shopping in the quiet of Nordstrom’s and orderly aisles at Whole Foods. How was I to know when I was supposed to bargain for something and when I was not? Was I getting ripped off as a tourist? Why wasn’t I having any fun?
It wasn’t until several months later that I finally came to understand the art of bargaining. I wanted a woven blanket to give to my brother for his birthday. In my wallet I had only 150dh, Moroccan dirhams or about 20 US dollars. After wandering among the blankets and scoping out the different boutiques, I settled on a small shop in which a single old man was folding fabric. I told him what I was looking for and together we found a lovely recycling-green colored cover, exactly what I wanted. I asked the price and he told me 300dh!
With a pained look on my face, I explained in Arabic that I was only a student and could pay 100dh. He seemed sad and told me I could find something of lesser quality down the street for that price. But the quality was so good here, I gushed. He complimented me on my fine taste. At this point, I opened my wallet to show my measly 150dh and pulled it out as if he had accepted this price. After looking gloomy for a few moments, he started to wrap my purchase and we exchanged money for blanket with a mutual sense of understanding. I was happy with my purchase and he wished me luck with my studies.
On the way home, I reflected on the process. I was smiling. That was fun, I thought! I then understood that we had each played our roles to perfection and, despite our cultural differences, had been able to communicate and reach a mutual agreement. I’ve learned the golden rule of bargaining is entering into a fair negotiation. If you are not interested in buying something, do not try to bargain down the price. If the seller agrees to your price and you back out of the deal, it is offensive and breaks the fair negotiation expectation.
Next, be familiar with what is bargained for and what is not. This will simply come with observation or the help of a local friend. If there is a sign that says “Fixed Price,” don’t try to haggle. Also, forget any preconceived notions about bargaining, such as paying only 50% of the asking price. This may be too much or too little; instead assess the intrinsic value the item holds for you and go from there.
In addition to these set roles, knowing a few words of the local language and not appearing as a simple tourist will help your chances a lot. Also, do not expect the buyer and seller to be all smiles and happiness at the end of the deal. If the merchant seems ecstatic to do business with you and invites you back again soon, you probably got ripped off.
In the end, keep things in perspective, does a dollar really make a dent in your wallet? Knowing the rules and enjoying the cultural interaction help make bargaining a fun game to play.
Written by guest blogger Julie Lohela, currently a year-long Rotary Ambassadorial Scholar studying journalism in Rabat, Morocco. Julie is also interning for the United Nations Industrial Development department.
For more information on bargaining and negotiating in specific countries around the world, check out our community built country guides. You can also share information and observations from your own culture crossing experiences by logging in and adding to the guide! |
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Category : Bargaining| Posted By: michael | Comments [1]
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